New blog...

I forgot how much more I like Wordpress, so I switched, re-branded to the blog of the future. We can now be found at Succinct Verbosity . How’s that for a new name, eh? Succinct verbosity, contradictory terms, just like life, just like yin and yang - wow, how deep is that? Of course, it doesn’t imply that I see things one way or another because a simplistic world view is just no fun at all. We’re humans, each with our own personalities, agendas, desires that don’t necessarily coincide. Sure, we can apply artificial constraints, set parameters such as the Uniform Code of Military Justice for those of us who served in the military, but judging by the number of people who go through courts martial or non-judicial punishment (probably more on the NJP side), our inherent humanness, our desire to pursue our own desires seems to override artificial codes imposed on us at times. The question is, of course, is our “humanness” I refer to an innate trait for all humans, or is it really more attributable to sociological reasons? I recall a section in “History of Western Philosophy” discussing how societies that mature “too quickly” tend to introduce Bacchic elements of madness and ecstasy to counter the “order” imposed by society.

An update to wireless freedom....

Okay, so I blasted Starbucks for their wireless policy and subsequently found out that you can get FREE wifi by registering your Starbucks card online. Of course, there are conditions - wifi is free as long as you use or re-charge your card every 30 days AND you’re limited to two hours a day of wireless freedom. So, there are caveats, but who hangs around Starbucks for more than two hours a day? I guess you could conceivably end up hanging around a Starbucks for a while in an airport with a delayed flight, but on a daily basis, who has two hours of free time to sit around in a Starbucks surfing the internet? I guess you could make the time if you had to... So, I guess I’ll have to give Starbucks a little more credit, but not a whole lot more. I mean, conditions??? Ambiance is still better than crappy ass fast food, though...

Complex systems stuff..

Systems dynamics, a discipline dedicated to understanding dynamic behavior of complex systems. The discipline seems to be a central part of the curriculum at Sloan and considering that Jay Forrester of MIT founded the discipline in the 50’s, I can see why. The theory is that we can model complex systems behavior in an effort to make predictable “forecasts” in an effort to make things faster, better, cheaper - if not faster, better, cheaper, then a bit more “predictable”. The fundamental in system dynamics is mathematics, but it still seems to be focused on a parametric view of a system. One of the steps in creating the simulation is to estimate the parameters and initial conditions - by market research or by my ever so favorite “subject matter expert”. In other words, you can really make the model say whatever you or a corporate executive wants since all you have to do is alter the “parameters and initial conditions” through market research or a “subject matter expert”. Sure, you could use statistical analysis to define parameters, but we all know statistics can be very subjective. The mathematics behind the statistics are objective (after all, math is math), but the data used to generate the statistics is always subject to interpretation.

So, why talk about systems dynamics? I was just thinking about the books I need to get from the ex’s home and one of them was Jay Forrester’s Systems Dynamics textbook (as taught at Sloan, even!!!). Funny the things that the mind recalls, isn’t it? Who the hell would think about “systems dynamics” on any given day except a “subject matter expert” in “business modeling”? I’m no “subject matter expert” in “business modeling” and “business strategy”, by the way, far from it, although I do understand the “language” of “business modeling and strategy”. “Dazzle ‘em with bullshit” as a former navy boss of mine would say...

Dog years, what is a “dog year”? Why do we need to relate a dog’s age to human years? Why can’t you just say “my dog is 10 years old” and know that 10 years is OLD since dog’s average around 12 years for lifespan. Why do we have to have this silly notion that we multiply the dog’s age by seven or something like that to come up with the “human equivalency”? This is especially disconcerting since the “conversion rate” is dependent upon the average lifespan of a human - which average lifespan, man or woman? Asian, latino, or caucasian? Are we then being discriminatory if we say that the factor is based on the average life expectancy of a white male, or Asian woman? I’d say just teach everyone that dogs live about 12 years and let them deduce by themselves that a 10 year old dog is OLD. Even the notion of a “year” is relative, but based on a hell of a lot more science than “dog years”, so let’s just use the widely accepted Julian calendar “year” and do away with this “dog year” stuff...

Endless loop

In programming, I remember the concept of an infinite loop. In C, you could write a statement to increment an integer by one with the condition to continue incrementing while the integer value is greater than zero. Technically, you would reach a memory limitation for the integer value in the computer, but it would take a very long time to get there and it would be a very big number.

Sometimes life feels like an infinite loop - I think if you don’t have an idea of what it is you want to do in life, any “progress” towards a purpose seems to equate to incrementing to an undefined “end state” greater than zero. I suppose “purpose” doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, it could be as simple as “live to 70” and then each year would be an increment, something along the lines of “unsigned int i; for (i=1; i<70; i++)”. Simple goal, attainable goal, but would that give you “purpose”? Do we need “goals” in life at all? I do think that a sense of “purpose” would be good, but does purpose imply setting goals? Is there a logical statement that says “in order to define purpose, one must develop goals to attain purpose”? I don’t think that’s the case, why make this such a “corporate” exercise? I’d say define a purpose, and live... just live! If your purpose is to do what you can to make the world a better place, just live your life making the world a better place - make friends, fall in love, make an impression, do good. Of course, it’s never as easy as it seems, but what the hell, you only live once, go do good things.

Walking on broken toe...

Okay, not sure if my toe is broken or not, but my little toe is about the size of my big toe and it’s black and blue all over. I thought I could be as nimble as the cats and while chasing them down to play, I rammed my foot against the coffee table in the living room. Brilliant, so what did we decide to do? We went for a walk at the park. We were told there is a way to access Lake Accotink off of Huntsman here in West Springfield, but we have yet to find it. We walked, for sure, took a nice stroll through a town house complex toting along our cameras, looking like tourists. We even elicited some interesting looks from a woman sitting in her backyard sipping tea under her deck umbrella... it looked like she was wearing a bathrobe, scary.

We walked for a good half hour, no Lake Accotink. The walking wasn’t that bad, my little toe was taped to the toe next to it, so it didn’t really move that much and at the end of the day, it felt okay. No dramatic end of story, other than the fact that we have yet to find the mystical entry into Lake Accotink from the vicinity of our neighborhood... I think we were being led on. We did capture some interesting photos, which I posted on my photoblog here . I love shooting in black and white. Colors are great, especially when you’re surrounded by vibrant greens, blues, and sunrise/sunsets, but you don’t get to focus on the actual image like you do with black and white. Just my opinion, of course...

Wireless wonders...

Went to Starbucks over the weekend and I’m always amazed at how many people hang around with their notebook computers, some looking very official, some looking like serious artists (on a Mac, of course), and some just looking like students, some serious, some not so serious. Of course, Starbucks makes you pay for your wireless freedom, but you can certainly feel cool in a Starbucks with the art deco look, plenty of caffeine, and sweets to boot.

Then there’s McDonalds... coffee is just as good, if not better, and now most McDonald’s are offering wireless for FREE (at select McDonalds, limited time offer). Not only can you get your better tasting caffeine (according to the latest customer surveys), but you can have sugar AND grease with your wireless freedom; you want some fries with that? It’s almost as if McD is trying to one up Starbucks on everything, but on ambiance, they lose flat out. There’s certainly isn’t any element of art deco coolness, the ambiance is completely crappy ass fast food.

Yes, that’s right... there should be a new motif, “crappy ass fast food”. I mean, no offense to McD’s or any other fast food joints, but isn’t that the whole purpose of “fast food”? Convenience, in and out, baby... I mean, why create an atmosphere that encourages diners to stick around? Besides, can you really work in the chaos of a fast food joint, inundated with the smell of greasy grilling meat and french fries? I doubt a real artist can get any inspiration from rushed travelers wolfing down extra value meals and it’s certainly not an environment conducive to serious thinking of the philosophical sort... As much as I like McD’s coffee, I’d much rather stick around with art deco, funky ass music, and the wonderful smell of espresso. No wonder why Starbuck’s keeps charging for their wireless... bastards.

On spirits....

Had a conversation with my mother about spirits and “manifestations” of deceased people in our physical world. There’s a huge part of me that believes in the supernatural. I recall an experience I had when I was young, maybe 10 or so, where I saw the form of a woman in the bedroom that we were all staying in at my grandmother’s house. I also recall that same summer seeing fireballs in the cemetery behind my grandmother’s house, all happening in the late July, early August time frame which is the festival of Obon in Japan. Of course, I didn’t know what Obon was really about at that age, but it’s likely my brain could have “formed” those images by inference, after all, there was a lot of focus on visiting tombs for dead relatives, etc...

So, the concept of “life” beyond death - if there is such a thing, why would we be afraid of interacting with those that we knew in their previous life? Does the mere fact that a person dies make them more “evil” than if they were alive? Maybe the whole fear of ghosts thing is our built in survival mechanism to fear things unknown to us, fear things we can’t control until we can “master” them? Is that the essence of mankind then? Our need to “master” things? Does that also explain why there could never really be a society as Plato had imagined, with a benevolent and wise aristocracy, a council of wise men that ruled over the unwise subjects? Ultimately, I suppose one could argue that it IS the desire to “master” everything that keeps us from attaining what Plato called utopia...?

Days of sail and adventure...

Okay, I never really sailed that much, a venture or two out into the Chesapeake, lasers in the Severn in Annapolis, and a couple trips into the Narragansett in Newport, RI, the sailing “capital” of the world... Except as I recall, it’s been a while since the Americans won the America’s Cup. I think the last time I recall seeing any yacht from the United States being challenged for the cup was in 1995, but I digress. That’s not really the point of the posting anyway.

I was really trying to recall the days of steaming the world’s oceans. I remember being underway at sea, enjoying the rushing sound as the bow of the ship cut through the water, watching the wake as I looked towards the stern of the ship. Moonless nights were incredible, you could only see the bioluminescence from the waves breaking against the hull and it would light up the area around the ship with a mysterious green glow. We always made our own wind, so being on the bridge wing was always pleasant unless we were in rough seas. My ventures to the briney blue included days where the seas raged, a deep green color with white-caps everywhere as the ocean churned. I remember the ship crashing down into the water after cresting a swell, sending a green wall of water and spray all the way up to the bridge and covering the entire front half of the ship in water. Pitch, roll, heave, yaw, and sway, all with their own unique sensations as you struggled to get up ladders as the ship caved to the wills of the raging main. With pitch and heave, you could time your ascent correctly to shoot up as the ship bounded upwards with the waves... Then, there were those nights in calm seas, no wind where the sea was like glass. The only sound being the ship cutting through the glassy water...

Okay, so my mind is a bit cloudy right now, just can’t seem to find the most descriptive noun and adjective combination. Hard to write about it when you can’t really “see” the memories clearly. I can blame a whole litany of factors - like the damn parrot screeching incessantly right now, but I should learn to conquer mind over matter, not let myself be distracted by the irritating shit around me... Damn bird...

The laboratory notebook...

I remember those days, keeping a laboratory notebook in my high school chemistry class. Bunsen burners, graduated cylinders, pipettes, and titration... I recall that my chemistry teacher was particularly adamant about keeping a good laboratory notebook. The intent was to document a hypothesis, describe the experiments and initial analysis, and then the interpretation of the experiments with the goal of proving (or disproving) the hypothesis. To my recollection, we never had instances of “disproving” any particular hypothesis since the experiments in mind were already “proven”, but you could always get variations due contaminants or not following instructions in the experiments completely.

At the end of the day, the focus seemed to be around actually “showing” chemistry to those of us that need to see and feel and to “experience” the scientific method, hearkening back to the days of the great scientists and philosophers that had such a zeal for knowledge and understanding... Ah, if we could only instill that same sense of academic adventure into schooling nowadays. Our focus seems to have been shifted from learning to a more business-like world of tests and certifications. It’s a shame, really... whatever happened to rewarding inquisitiveness? Are we to assume that we “know” enough now, so rather than teach our youth how to theorize, we just need to teach them how to empirically do “known” things better? Can we really distill the essence of education in the 21st century to “faster, better, cheaper”? Ugh...

In the “History of Western Philosophy”, Bertrand Russell talks of the chasm in “thought” between the Hellenic era and the Renaissance, a “dark ages” of thought. The Romans, it seems, were more practical in thought, focusing more on building an empire than on advancing thought. We seem to be in a similar “rut”, an “intellectual dark age”. Sure, there’s innovation, but to what extent are we innovating? I would argue that we’re innovating for a practical purpose, much like the Romans - that practical purpose seems to be primarily oriented towards profit and solving “real world” problems. Whatever happened to thinking about “non-real world” problems, theorizing and applying our minds to understanding the “unknown”? I guess it still goes on, but do we sensationalize it? How many “thinkers” do we see in mainstream news? Sure, we have “dreamers”, but even those “dreamers” are “conceiving” ideas geared towards a practical solution to one or many of life’s “problems”, a very practical approach. Maybe I’m just not seeing things correctly here, I’ll just need to focus on understanding in a “faster, cheaper, better” way...

Random acts of madness

How’s this for one - I ran! Well, more like shuffled, but it was non-stop for 20 minutes! I even went up hills, three of them. It was a strange experience indeed - now I’m paying for it as my body kindly reminds me just how out of shape I really am and just how much random acts of madness like running can really hurt. I can’t really complain though, I chose to pursue this insane idea of shuffling along without stopping. Not sure if I was any quicker than if I had decided to walk, but I sure do hurt a lot more!

Can’t find my nifty laptop cooling platform. The platform has a USB port powered fan and it does wonders to keep the ol’ computer cool. I recall unpacking it at some point after we returned from the beach, but now I don’t know if I saw the damn thing in a dream or not. All I know is that the computer is getting hot - heating up from all the processing it has to do to keep up with my rants and raves because my rants and raves surely have to rank in the top 10 of CPU using rants and raves. I mean, look at the words I use? Abnegate? That’s so 19th century! Abecedarian? I think that went away in the 18th century. How do I know those words? I have the fortune of having a book with sections from Samuel Johnson’s 1755 English Language Dictionary. Who reads dictionaries anyway??? I think I am truly on the brink of madness, of the happy sort, of course.

Public display of daily pages...

Public displays of affection are shunned, much like any attempts to open up thoughts to the world. Inasmuch as I share the healthy sense of apprehension to posting what could be perceived as private thoughts to the internet reading public, I do have to consider that it is quite unreasonable to expect that I would in any way draw a large audience of readers. In other words, nobody will read the gibberish I post, so what's the risk in exposing a bit of what I'm thinking???

Interesting how I've transitioned from the "lubricious declivity of despair" to "abnegating unhappiness". Did I do it through cognitive therapy? Perhaps I could argue that - especially if changing circumstances somehow equated to a "changed frame of mind" which cognitive therapy strives to achieve. The question is, did the cognitive therapy successfully lead to the altered frame of mind to affect the shift in circumstances that led to my happiness, or did the change in circumstances lead to the altered frame of mind? Did the chicken come before the egg, or the egg before the chicken? Does it really matter? I would argue not, unless you're a therapist and need to proclaim "success" (if you ever do read this, Patty, I'm happy to give you the credit!).

As trivial as it seems, it's good to acknowledge in writing that I am happier now than I was in my previous life, with some exceptions, for sure, but then again, aren't there always exceptions to the rule? I certainly don't see the world as black and white and I think reality tends to support my hypothesis. If the world were black and white, we wouldn't have the concept of "mitigating circumstances", would we? We certainly wouldn't idealize the idiom "to err is human, to forgive, divine". The very statement indicates that we shouldn't judge others, that we should forgive people since all people make mistakes. Doesn't sound too black and white to me.